In which I am a little too good at research

At Christmas, my husband received a book called The Green Guide. As you might imagine, it’s intended to be a resource for how to live one’s life and buy one’s stuff in a more environmentally friendly way. It’s published by National Geographic, so it ought to be reasonably reputable.

I made the mistake of reading it.

Specifically, I ran across this section: The Dirty Dozen, which calls out various chemicals which one should attempt to avoid in personal care products. I read my shampoo bottle labels.

I read my makeup-container labels.

I threw out most of my lipstick, a couple of mascaras, and some concealer. I threw out the partially-used bar of soap in the shower. I bought new stuff from Burt’s Bees and Origins, and spent an evening happily playing with it (I know, I know, a whole evening? But I’ve been the only woman in the office for a good few days now; I needed some girlie time).

Then I started wondering a little more. I started doing searches for unlovely phrases such as [ cosmetics safety ], and I ran across the Cosmetics Database, and ran searches on some of the ingredients on the back of my packages, and realized I’d effectively gone from threat level 8 to threat level 2 or 3 or 4, which is nice and all, but fundamentally, there are no safe cosmetics which I was able to locate.

I haven’t even started on deoderant. I’m too scared.

I mean, I see hints that okay stuff might be out there, but they sure aren’t available in stores. And no one really agrees on what’s safe (is it disturbing that there are studies done about how well some of this stuff works for embalming purposes?) And who buys lipstick online? Please. I work for a tech company; I know enough not to trust the color I see on my screen.

To make myself feel better, I did a few more searches. I confirmed that yes, most household products are also unsafe. As is the off-gassing from the fabric-covered walls of my cubicle at work, the particle-board furniture in this apartment I’m staying in while I’m in NY, and certainly the bus fumes I walked past on my way home. If it’s all dangerous, I figure, why not look nice?!

Sigh. At least threat level 2 or 3 or 4 is an improvement on threat level 8.